2 comments on “Winning Psychology”

Winning Psychology

Many books never age for me. Huck is still Huck; Holden is still Holden; Think And Grow Rich and The Magic of Thinking Big still resonate. I read and re-read these books. The books are the same, but I have changed. This remains a curious method for measuring growth.

Recently I re-read Dr. Denis Waitley’s The Psychology of Winning. Published in 1979, plenty might consider it ancient. But its wheels are still true.

Here are the takeaways that I find most valuable:

Make a List of “I Am’s.”

Create two columns. Place your assets or “I am good at” in one column. Place your liabilities or “I need improvement in” in the other column. Pick your ten best traits and your ten traits needing the most improvement. Take the first three liabilities and schedule an activity or find a winner who will help you improve in each of the three areas.

Accepting Compliments

One good indicator of an individual’s opinion of himself is the way he can accept a compliment. It is incredible how low-achievers belittle and demean themselves when others try to pay them value:

“I’d like to congratulate you on a job well done.”

“Oh, it was nothing . . . I was just lucky I guess.”

“Wow, that was a great shot you made!”

“Yeah, I had my eyes closed.”

“That’s a good looking suit. Is it new?”

 “No, I’ve been thinking of giving it to Goodwill.”

The Loser believes that the quality of humility should be pushed over the cliff into humorous humiliation. And the devastating fact is that the robot self-image is always listening and accepts these negative barbs as facts to store as reality.

The Winners in life accept compliments by simply saying “thank you.” Bob Hope says “thank you”; Frank Boorman says “thank you”; Steve Cauthen, after winning the Triple Crown, doesn’t say “gee, I almost fell off my horse”; he says “thank you.” Neil Armstrong, Jack Nicklaus, Cheryl Tiegs, Nancy Loopez, Chris Evert all say “thank you.” Self-esteem is the quality of simply saying “thank you,” and accepting value that is paid to you by others.

Wants and Desires

Make a list of five of your most important current wants or desires, and right next to each . . . put down what the benefit or payoff is to you when you achieve it. Look at this list before you go to bed each night and upon awakening each morning.


Indeed, Dr. Waitley’s Psychology of Winning has reminded me of the things I’ve lost focus on. And today, when the competition for your attention is likely greater than it has ever been before (the incessant alerts, updates, notifications via smartphones, computers, social media, etc.), one of his admonitions hits home: “Concentrate all your energy and intensity, without distraction, on the successful completion of your current project. Finish what you start.”

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Transformation

I was slow for most of the 15 years I spent as a triathlete. Not until 2014 did I become fast. People who knew me when it took 12-14 hours to finish an Ironman have asked, “How is it possible that you went from finishing in 12-14 hours to 9 1/2 hours?”

Determining how to transform begins by asking specific questions, and these questions can be applied to any endeavor. I wanted to transform from slow to fast, but these questions cross over to other things, like going from fat to fit, lazy to motivated, bad to good, poor to rich.

Step One. Ask yourself:  Do I look like __________? (Fill in the blank with the name of the person who is currently where you want to be.)

The first thing I did was take a hard look at the “fast guys.” Did I look like them? The answer was “no.”

This compelled me to action.

I lost 20 pounds. Losing 20 pounds was simple, but not easy. I had to stop drinking. (Alcohol was not keeping me heavy. However, the nutritional choices I made after a few pints of Guinness certainly kept me more plump than necessary. I’m referring specifically to how good a can of Pringles—the whole can—tastes while enjoying a good beer buzz, or how great a few hotdogs taste at a ballgame. I didn’t make these poor nutritional choices when I was sober. But give me a few drinks, and pow! I’d eat everything.)

I also shaved my head. And I shaved my legs. (Body hair has been proven to slow people down in the water and on the bike.)

So in looking at what you want to become, one question is very simple: Do you look like “them?” (What actions can you take to close the gap?)

Unfortunately, after losing weight, I still did not look like them. Physically, I was getting close. But then I looked at their equipment. They had aero wheels, aero helmets, and carbon fiber time-trial bikes. I did not.

Step Two to the transformation:  Do I work like __________? (Fill in the blank with the name of the person who is currently where you want to be.)

Asking myself this question led to a realization: many of the fast guys I met were training 20-25 hours per week. I was training 10-15 hours per week.

Step Three to the transformation: Do I think like _________? (Fill in the blank with the name of the person who is currently where you want to be.)

I thought it looked cool to look like you’re suffering. And sure, maybe that’s cool. But what’s cooler? The way these guys make it look so easy. (I thought going sub-11 hours in an Ironman was fast. My friend Keish, who’s always been a fast guy, is disappointed if he doesn’t go sub-10. For him, sub-10 is not a PR. It’s simply an expectation.)

Step Four to the transformation: Do I execute like ___________? (Fill in the blank with the name of the person who is currently where you want to be.)

For me, the question was simple: Do I race like them? In simply comparing my transition times to the fast guys, there were enormous differences. They transitioned with urgency. I would dilly dally. (In life it’s encouraged to stop and smell the roses. In triathlon, not so much).

The answers to these four questions—and the subsequent changes I made—are the “magic formula” to the transformation I enjoyed.

Of course, my contention is that these sorts of questions are applicable to any endeavor. If you want to improve at something, simply have a look at those who are succeeding. What are they doing differently? And why? Answer these questions, see how the answers relate to you, and then adapt accordingly.

0 comments on “A Dynamic Life”

A Dynamic Life

James Citrin’s The Dynamic Path is among the most valuable books I’ve read. Like many titles that reside in the success-literature canon, Citrin identifies and describes key characteristics of successful people. However, Citrin observes that the most successful and most inspiring travel along something called The Dynamic Path, which is a series of three stages:

Stage 1: The Champion achieves excellence as an individual or member of a team in sports or business.

Stage 2: The Great Leader transcends individual accomplishment and becomes dedicated to the individual and collective achievement of others.

Stage 3: The Legacy is left by those leaders, household names or otherwise, who achieve meaningful societal change and enduring results.

Let’s say that you are currently traveling along The Dynamic Path. Where are you today? Are you The Champion, The Great Leader, or The Legacy? If you are currently striving to become The Champion, have a look at your goals. Make sure you continue to refine them. Similarly, if you are trying to transcend individual accomplishment, or if you are focused on your legacy, refine your goals accordingly.

In his book, Citrin interviews Buzz Aldrin, Colin Powell, Bono, Tony Hawk, and a host of other top-performers. When interviewing famed cycling coach, Chris Carmichael, Carmichael offers this insight about the role of 99% in aspiring champions: “People hold back that 1 last percent so they don’t have to face not being good enough. If there is always something they could have done better, they are still safe.”

Consider that for a moment. Do you hold back? Have you done so recently? How has this affected your trajectory?

Carmichael’s observation is punctuated by sports psychologist, Bob Rotella, who notes: “It is actually much easier for people to work hard than it is to believe in themselves. I think there are so many people who are really talented and hardworking who don’t believe in themselves. What strikes me more than anything is that in the American culture, we have sold the importance of the work ethic for years so totally and completely that we have lots of people who will work their tail off and yet will choose to never believe in themselves.”

Is this you? What systems do you need to put into place so that you can go from aspiring champion to champion? What systems do you need to put into place so that you can make sure that you are traveling along The Dynamic Path?

0 comments on “Prepared to Pivot”

Prepared to Pivot

It was a simple plan. Fly to Malaysia, get collected by a family-friend, and drive to her place in George Town.

But there was a problem. When I landed at the airport in Penang, my friend was not there. It was 11:30 p.m., and I was curbside. Had it been less humid, I still would’ve been sweating.

An hour passed. Most of the passengers from my flight had already gone. There was an announcement over the Airport’s P.A.: “The airport will be closing in 30 minutes.”

Already, I’d noted fewer taxis. And while I didn’t know much about the airport, I knew that it was approximately 30 minutes away from the capital, George Town. I knew little of Penang (and Malaysia in general), and I hadn’t any way to contact my friend. What was at first curious started to become concerning, especially as I heard the announcement: “The airport is now closed.”

Moments ago passengers were exiting baggage claim, greeting loved ones, and securing transportation. Now I could hear moths banging against light fixtures. But there was one taxi remaining. Two German tourists were loading their gear into the trunk. I dug deep to resurrect my three years of high school German. “Entschuldigung, entschuldigung,” I said. “Sprechen sie Englisch?”

Fortunately, they spoke some English. They agreed to let me share a taxi with them to George Town. Upon arrival, since I hadn’t a place to stay, and since it was now almost 1:00 a.m., and since the local hotels were fully-booked for Chinese New Year, my new German friends agreed to let me share their hotel room as well.

Upon waking, I learned that the hotelier spoke little English and that the hotel was without Internet. I hit the streets, and over the next three hours I determined that most of the local businesses (including Internet cafes) were closed because of Chinese New Year, and they would remain closed for the next few days.

I pivoted.

Pivoting requires one to move decisively after gathering as much information as possible. I listed over a dozen options (ending my holiday was not one of them). The most viable was to take a bus to Thailand. So I did. And 9 hours later I was enjoying a can of Singha on the beach in Phuket.

The takeaway is this: I had a plan. (I planned to see Malaysia. I planned to stay with my friend.) Tenacity is important, but we mustn’t try to force a round peg into a square hole. In travel, just as in life and in business, assess whether you are advancing an agenda or forcing it. If it’s the latter, be prepared to pivot.

0 comments on “Heroes”

Heroes

I like to romanticize the hero. He dons a cape. She flies an invisible jet. It is not a flea but The Tick!

The truth, though, with due deference to Comic-Con fans, is that the real heroes are first-responders, fire fighters, police officers, and members of the armed forces. They are people who put themselves in harm’s way to protect us, to assist us, or to save us.

But there are other heroes. Few organizations classify their strongest assets as heroes, but we should aspire to be the workplace hero.

“Calculation never made a hero.” —John Henry Newman

“A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer.”     —Ralph Waldo Emerson

Workplace heroes share common characteristics.

Ownership

Heroes of the office ooze ownership, also known as accountability. They don’t pass the buck. They consider excuses an abomination. And they are most empowered when something goes wrong and they take responsibility for it.

Commitment

Workplace heroes do not simply start something, only to let others finish it. If it means staying later, listening longer, or starting over again, they do what must be done. They know the difference between delegation and fulfillment.

Heart

Heroes execute from the head, as well as their heart. They bring passion into the workplace. This is consistent with the Dicky Fox message in Jerry Maguire: “If this is empty (he points to his heart), this doesn’t matter (he whacks himself on the head).”

Consider ownership, commitment, and heart. How might these characteristics compel you to become the workplace hero?

0 comments on “Work Ethic”

Work Ethic

“I shine ’cause I grind” is the chorus for a Crime Mob song that is on my playlist. On especially tough days, I’ll click my iPod to that song, and I’ll repeat the chorus over and over: “I shine ’cause I grind, I shine ’cause I grind.”

Like most things, you have to look for the motivation. But sift through the verses of this song, and you find the line: “I got an aura about myself, and that’s greatness.”

It’s funny, but I still remember the look on my colleague’s face when I told her (after a long training run) that it was a mental victory. She was perplexed. And I proceeded to explain that I wasn’t motivated to train that day. (This was exercise, not business training, but both have a lot in common.)

Her response was perfectly warranted: “But you LOVE to train!”

Sometimes we forget that people bear witness mainly to our actions, and rarely do they get a glimpse of the inner battle, the war declared between body and mind. Sure, there are almost always moments during training that are “perfect.” They are Ferlinghetti’s rebirth, a renaissance of wonder. You’re weightless, in flight, one with the Earth’s rotation.

But often it is a battle to get out that door and onto the track, or the bike, or the pool deck.

Like many things I know are good for me—eating broccoli, watching a TED Talk, cleaning the house, bathing—sometimes I’m simply not in the mood.

And that’s where you must have strategies in place in order to set yourself in motion. Momentum, as they say, is a cruel mistress.

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” —Thomas Edison

“A professional is someone who can do his best work when he doesn’t feel like it.” —Alistair Cook

So what is your plan?

Visualization

Ask yourself, “How will I feel once I’m finished?” (I even go as far as “feeling” that sense of fulfillment and accomplishment before I’ve begun).

Motivation

Watch motivational YouTube videos. There are so many videos (2-3 minutes each) that might compel you to start moving.

Transformation

Try to change from the outside in. Get all of your gear on so that even if you don’t feel like an athlete, an entrepreneur, a CEO, a top-performer, you look like one. (Of course, if these things don’t work for you, do not ever underestimate the power of caffeine.)

I stand by this quotation: “Luck is the last dying wish of those who believe winning can happen by accident. Sweat, on the other hand, is a choice.” If you are at the top of your game (as an athlete, or as a parent, or as a professional), or if you are striving to reach the top of your game, then you likely have something in common with those committed to performing optimally. You are consistent. You do what you need to do, especially when you don’t want to do it. In other words, you shine ’cause you grind.

And because you do, “You got an aura about yourself, and that’s greatness.”

0 comments on “The Negotiator”

The Negotiator

I am an expert negotiator.

Sure, I may pay full price for a car. I may get gouged for a water heater or a new air-conditioning unit. And I certainly lose most of the negotiations with my wife.

However, when I negotiate with myself, I always win.

Let me explain.

I train (exercise) everyday (with rare exception). Before I begin, I’ve already begun the negotiations. “Next item up for business: you planned to run 6 miles. Are you going to run 6 miles?” And then the process begins. It’s like an epic courtroom drama, the slick defense attorney vs. the conservative prosecutor.

Once I begin the run, the negotiations continue. Of course, the moment I sense a twang in my right knee or a ping in my left foot, it’s like a new exhibit has been entered into evidence.

“The dictionary is the only place that success comes before work. Hard work is the price we must pay for success. I think you can accomplish anything if you’re willing to pay the price.” —Vince Lombardi

“Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.” —Henry Ford

Sometimes I can convince myself to complete the 6 miles. Other times, I’ve negotiated a new outcome, one that realizes itself at around 3 or 4 miles. The evidence is almost always compelling: “You don’t want to get injured. Better to play it safe.”

While I think this process is healthy, it’s important to be conscious of one thing: do not allow your negotiations to become one-sided. In other words, if you’re regularly negotiating downwards (turning a 50-mile ride into a 30-miler, a 4,000 yard swim into 2,500), you must make sure to also negotiate upwards. On the days when you feel good, extend your bike ride, add an extra 20 minutes to your swim session, or run a couple extra loops around the block. And make sure this mindset transcends the treadmill and finds its way into your professional life. Negotiate upwards at work by minding the power of questions, daily goals, and self-talk:

Questions

Ask yourself carefully-crafted questions. “What can I do to increase productivity today?” “What can I do right now to help meet this quarter’s revenue goals?” The answers to these questions will help compel you to go forward.

Daily Goals

I like to jot these down in the morning, and if I’m spending a lot of time in front of a computer, I’ll put a Post-it Note or two onto the monitor to keep me focused on that day’s goals. Also, I’ll make an effort to visualize the attainment of these goals during morning meditation. Clear awareness of your daily goals should help you negotiate upwards, as daily goals should promote purpose.

Self-talk

Be mindful of your self-talk. As Lao Tzu noted, “Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions; Watch your actions; they become habits.” As you negotiate throughout the day, nudge your self-talk toward affirmation and optimism, employing language like “You can do this. Dig deep. Just make one more call.”

It’s okay to be an expert negotiator. But a real expert should be good at getting the most out of every negotiation.

0 comments on “Attention: Small Businesses who are LA Sports Fans”

Attention: Small Businesses who are LA Sports Fans

There is nothing like a fun day at the ballgame with your favorite client or hot prospect.  Grabbing a beer and a dog to build that relationship . . . what client or prospect wouldn’t want that invitation?

Figuring out how to use that limited marketing budget can be a slippery slope.  Does this key individual even like sports and if so, how do I determine which sport he or she is a fan of?  It might be easiest to simply ask.  But why not do some simple market analytics first, to get a better idea of local fan-base tastes and tendencies by various demographics?

This chart below, from the LA Times sports page, inspired me to put a little more thought into this. JA blog - LA sports teams infograph (1)

I like this infograph, as it is brief, clear, and provides good information in easily digested form.  I learned a couple of things very quickly.  The popularity of the Lakers is declining, but they are still the hottest ticket in town.  The Rams (“the same old Rams!”) are more popular with African-American Baby Boomers.  84% of Asian Americans prefer either the Dodgers or Lakers, and Latinos tend to bleed “Dodger Blue” more than other ethnicities.

Buying tickets to whatever event requires some level of planning.  For example, season ticket commitments occur long before the season starts.  Instead of blindly guessing how to allocate the client and prospect marketing budget, many small businesses reach out to boutique consulting firms to obtain market research to make better and more informed decisions.  Tickets are not cheap, so everyone wants to hit the bullseye the best they can.

It would be nice if there is an affordable and fast delivery of Infographics that cater to the specific and often unique target markets of your small business.  Local financial consultants understand the local market, including the trends and tendencies of sports team popularity by demographic.  Pulling data from the overwhelming but useful data available today, then organizing and distilling it using spreadsheets and graphs that are read and not ignored by your audience, is doable today at a low cost and low burden.

The local sports market is in the midst of further recent disruption.  Layered onto the LA Rams move from St. Louis is the pending moves of the Raiders (Oakland to Las Vegas) and Chargers (San Diego to LA).  This volatility is compelling many small businesses to seek experts to guide their navigation of the shifting LA sports team landscape.  Sharpening your decisions through high quality and productive market research and analysis supports the high profit margin, high growth, and maximized marketing ROI financial models of premier small businesses.

0 comments on “Remember “The Magic of Thinking Big””

Remember “The Magic of Thinking Big”

Originally published in 1959, Dr. David J. Schwartz’s entrepreneurial bible should warrant residence in your library. And while many of us have read his seminal work, The Magic of Thinking Big, we may not review it as often as we should.

“You are what you think you are.” —David J. Schwartz

“Don’t blame others when you receive a setback. Remember, how you think when you lose determines how long it will be until you win.” —David J. Schwartz

Here are three highlights from his work:

Rid Yourself of Excusitis

Schwartz writes about his amputee friend who is an excellent golfer: “One day I asked him how he had been able to develop such a near-perfect style with just one arm. I mentioned that most golfers with two arms can’t do nearly as well. His reply says a lot, ‘Well, it’s my experience,’ he said, ‘that the right attitude and one arm will beat the wrong attitude and two arms every time.’ The right attitude and one arm will beat the wrong attitude and two arms every time. Think about that for a while. It holds true not only on the golf course but in every facet of life.”

Build Confidence by Managing Your Memory

Schwartz argues that “Your brain is very much like a bank. Every day you make thought deposits in your ‘mind bank.'” Schwartz likens negative thought deposits to fertilizing weeds, and he offers this plan: “Just before you go to sleep, deposit good thoughts in your memory bank. Count your blessings. Recall the many good things you have to be thankful for: your wife or husband, your children, your friends, your health. Recall the good things you saw people do today. Recall your little victories and accomplishments. Go over the reasons why you are glad to be alive.”

Vitality Is Essential

Schwartz writes: “In everything you do, life it up. Enthusiasm, or lack of it, shows through in everything you do and say. Life up your handshaking. When you shake hands, shake. Make your handclasp say, ‘I’m glad to know you.’ ‘I am glad to see you again.’ A conservative, mouse-like handshake is worse than no handshake at all. It makes people think, ‘This guy is more dead than alive.’ Try to find a highly successful person with a conservative handshake. You’ll have to look a long, long time.” And about smiles, Schwartz writes: “Life up your smiles. Smile with your eyes. Nobody likes an artificial, pasted-on, rubbery smile. When you smile, smile. Show a few teeth. Maybe your teeth aren’t attractive, but that’s really unimportant. For when you smile, people don’t see your teeth. They see a warm, enthusiastic personality, someone they like.”

One way to inoculate yourself from small thinking is to devour success literature. Consider adding The Magic of Thinking Big to your daily ritual.

0 comments on “Like Stone”

Like Stone

On the front cover of this month’s The Costco Connection is Mary Barra, CEO of General Motors. She is pictured up close, in focus, donning a black leather jacket and blue jeans. Behind her, in soft focus, is the 2017 Chevrolet Bolt EV.

If 19th century feminist Lucy Stone (1818-1893) saw this, would she be surprised? After all, Stone was the first woman in Massachusetts to earn a college degree (she attended Oberlin College in Ohio), but when asked to write the commencement speech for her graduating class, she refused. Her speech would have to be read by a man. Women were prohibited from giving a public address.

The uncompromising Stone searched until she found a venue that would provide her with an opportunity to speak publicly. Her brother allowed her to speak from the pulpit of his church in Gardner, Massachusetts. And the topic of Stone’s first public address? Women’s rights.

Too much has already been said and written about women’s sphere. Leave women, then, to find their sphere. —Lucy Stone

To make the public sentiment, on the side of all that is just and true and noble, is the highest use of life. —Lucy Stone

In the study of success, in the study of legacy, we can learn from Lucy Stone.  What did she do to effect change?

Persist

When the Bible was quoted to Lucy Stone in defense of gender inequality, she (according to Jone Johnson Lewis) “declared that when she grew up, she’d learn Greek and Hebrew so she could correct the mistranslation that she was sure was behind such verses!”

Takeaway: In business as in life, when we know our truth to be THE truth, we mustn’t acquiesce. We must go over, go under, or go around. We must find a way, for truth can become compromise, and compromise can become apathy. Stay strong. Persist. And remember, as declared by Ralph Waldo Emerson: “My life is not an apology.”

Champion

To walk a righteous path but not know where it’s leading . . . is a mistake. To champion a cause, however, indicates a defined goal or objective. Stone championed women’s rights, something she focused on until the end. In fact, as she lay dying, she uttered these four final words to her daughter: “Make the world better.”

Takeaway: In business as in life, we can spend much of our day simply fighting to keep our head above water. We wrestle with our life-preserver in an effort to stay afloat; meanwhile, we make little progress toward our objective.

  1. Make sure to have an over-arching goal; in other words, champion a cause for your company or for your life. (Answering all of your emails, returning voicemails, and attending the morning meeting with Client X and the afternoon meeting with Colleague Y might be the professional equivalent of flailing your arms to keep water out of your nose so that you don’t drown! Only you know if what you do each day is helping you progress toward attaining your over-arching goal.)
  2. Once you have your over-arching goal, you can begin with the end in mind. Certainly, your day will require allocation to maintenance. But make sure to set aside time for growth as well. Remember, maintenance is what you have to do to stay afloat. Growth is what you must assert if you ever want peace.

Would your business benefit from a nudge in this direction? ABS Professional Services consultants are eager to meet with you. Reach out to us today. Let’s have a conversation about your needs.